


Cops and Robbies

by boyslushie



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Elf Sportacus (LazyTown), Fae Robbie Rotten, Fluff, Guns, M/M, Magic, Mutual Crushes, Passing Out, RomCom AU, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Tight Pants, a small amount of cursing, blood mention, convoluted traps, don't worry Robbie, plans that arent thought out very well at all, slight injury mention, sugar meltdowns, talk of guns, talk of violence, this is gonna be so l o n g, worrying, you didn't kill him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-06 03:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8733919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyslushie/pseuds/boyslushie
Summary: A new tenant moves into the LazyTown Apartment Complex, and Robbie develops some unwarranted feelings. The only way he knows how to get rid of those feelings, is to get rid of Sportacus.





	1. Pilot Episode: Close Encounters of the Good-Looking Kind

Robbie was awoken to the sound of several people chattering somewhere outside his apartment door and the thuds of boxes being dropped in the lobby. The sounds of children and adults buzzing excitedly made him cringe. He yawned and stretched, getting up out of his fuzzy orange chair that he occasionally slept in on late nights, to change out of his loose pajamas and into something actually suitable to be seen in. He walked past his workbench, pausing only to check the time on a small alarm clock he had made himself.

  
“11:38 AM… far too early for me to be awake.” he huffed mostly to himself, wiping the sleep from his eyes with his other hand. He tossed the clock back down and went over to the closet, grabbing a plain purple button up with white cuffs, a maroon vest with gold trim, and some high-waisted black jeans. Once he was dressed, slipping on his socks and shallow dress shoes, he headed for the door, reaching up to run a hand through his hair only to realize that he had completely forgotten to slick it back in his exhausted state. He grumbled all the way into the bathroom, reaching for the hair gel. He squeezed as much out as he could get, there wasn’t much left in the bottle. He’d have to grab more from the store later.

Nearly twenty minutes later and he was finally satisfied enough with his look to go out of his apartment. He swung the door open, carefully stepping over the trigger for his “Child Catching Door Net” he had so elaborately set up to catch scheming children who tried to interrupt him on a more personal level. Of course, it has caught more than just children, but he was slowly finding new ways for others to get around the harmless inconvenience of being caught in a net three feet off the ground. What was truly awful was when his peace and work were interrupted by him needing to actually get up and free whoever he had caught.

He finally made it to the front of the apartment building, pushing past the small group of people gathered in the lobby, hearing little snippets of their conversations. “I think he’s a cop?” “Marlene told me that he used to be in the military!” “No he’s a retired cop, the landlord said so.” he overheard as he weaved through the people, finding that a man was lugging boxes inside. This man was wearing a U-Haul uniform though, so he knew that if there was a new tenant, this wasn’t them.

He walked outside, only to find an extremely handsome, muscular man lifting boxes out of the truck alongside the U-Haul employee. The new tenant didn’t seem to have broken a sweat, despite the fact that he was carrying three of the seemingly heavy boxes. Robbie just gawked at him, the idea to offer to help carry some boxes for him completely just soaring out the window along with every last thing in his brain. When the man walked back out into the sunlight, he offered his greeting to Robbie, adjusting his black newsboy hat.

“Hello new neighbor! I’m Sportacus!” He said cheerily in his thick icelandic accent, offering his hand out to Robbie. He tried to quickly regain his composer, giving his mind a second to buffer and at least remember how to speak.

“I-I’m Robbie, it’s nice to have you here, Sportakook!” He returned, berating himself for butchering his name like that. He shook his hand firmly and Sportacus let out a short laugh.

“It’s Sportacus, actually, but nice try! I can’t wait to get to know you better Robbie!”

“Do you by any chance need help with any of your stuff?” Robbie offered, wanting to get on this guy’s good side before any of the adults could make him out to be worse than he was, and certainly not because he wanted to have a _chance_ with this guy, now that would just be ridiculous. Sportacus nodded, thankful for the helping hand. Robbie took a few boxes, carrying them slowly as not to drop anything due to his rather lacking arm strength. Sportacus tried to suppress a giggle at the sight of Robbie’s arms trembling under about 35 pounds of weight at most.

He was glad to have someone be so kind to him regardless, knowing that he had nice neighbors was certainly putting him at ease, since he was still a bit nervous about the move. He knows he really shouldn’t be, everyone seemed pleasant enough, but new things always gave him a bit of a nervous edge, especially when people questioned things like his diet, or his hats, or his name, or his accent. Keeping a the fact that he was an elf living amongst humans in constant fear of being shunned and discriminated against was a hard secret to keep up. He shook his head to clear the intrusive thoughts. Everything would be just fine.

 

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It would be several hours before they finally got everything moved inside his apartment, three doors down from Robbie’s own residence, with the help of a few other neighbors. Sportacus thanked them gratefully, ready to start unboxing.

Once everyone was gone, he sat down by one of the larger boxed and began pulling out the bubble wrap and objects that sat inside. About three hours into setting up his new home, he noticed a maroon fabric wedged between two boxes in the corner. He got up to inspect it, lifting off the top two boxes to reveal Robbie’s small vest. He must have taken it off while helping him carry things inside, he’d have to return it. He was in Apartment 106 if he remembered correctly, just three doors down from his own. He set it aside, telling himself that he’d return it after he had unpacked 3 more boxes.

 

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There was the sudden hiss-click-whoosh-slam of the net going off and a loud scream from outside Robbie’s door, and he nearly growled about being interrupted, setting down his screwdriver and raising the goggles to rest on his forehead. He sighed as he opened the door, freezing up when he saw Sporta-whatever caught in his trap, staring at him with frightened eyes, and clutching some kind of cloth. Robbie quickly moved for the release lever, lowering the net and untying the side to let Him out. Sportacus shakily put his feet down on the ground and laughed nervously, still holding the wad of fabric to his chest.

“I’m… terribly sorry about that it wasn’t… it’s meant to…” Robbie couldn’t form a full sentence to save his life after having caught this guy in his dumb kids trap, he had probably just ruined all his hard work of getting on this guy’s good side. He had to remove the net soon, he was free tomorrow, that would be a good time. Sportacus just smiled, holding out the fabric that he had been holding onto. His vest! He must have accidentally left it in his apartment earlier.

“T-thank you.” Robbie stuttered, blushing as he took it out of his hand.

“Well, uh…. See you later Robbie.” Sportacus waved, turning to take his leave.

“Wait!” Robbie said, what the hell was he doing? What was he asking him to wait for? Sportacus turned and looked at him curiously, Robbie gulped, trying to keep from panicking.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” He asked desperately before his mind could stop the flow of words from his mouth. Fucking stupid. Sportacus’ bright blue eyes light up at his hospitality, and Robbie was relieved to have at least done something right. Luckily his house was pretty tidy from earlier in the week when a buyer had come buy to pick up a specially made coffee machine. He invited the other inside, and Sportacus gratefully accepted, Walking in and glancing around, taking in the incredibly purple room and all of it’s details. He curiously walked over to the workbench, eyes roaming the half built machine resting under the lamplight.

“What’s this?” he asked cutely. Robbie was already having a hard enough time with the fact that this guy was even in his home, what on Earth was he doing to him?

“It’s going to be a frosting machine when it’s done. The user will just put the ingredients in this end, switch it on, they’ll mix into frosting, and with the lever that will be going on this end, it can decorate pastries. I’ll need to find a different nozzle though, the one I have doesn’t fit the parts i bought last week.” Robbie explained. Sportacus shuddered at the mention of frosting but was intrigued nonetheless.

“That’s… That’s really impressive! Is this what you do for a living?” Sportacus questioned, voice brimming with excitement and curiosity. Robbie’s cheeks flushed pink once again, he had to stop doing that.

“Yep! I invent things and people buy them.” He spoke proudly, straightening his posture. Sportacus giggled at the way he puffed himself up with pride, it was kinda cute. He could feel his ears twitching excitedly under the tight elastic of his hat, and he shivered. Robbie took this as a small hint and turned up the thermostat a bit, though Sportacus didn’t notice.

“So, right… Dinner!” Robbie remembered, shuffling into the kitchen to see if he had anything suitable for making dinner. He scanned the refrigerator, finding a lot less food than he had thought was in there. He’d have to order in then.

“How do you feel about takeout?”

 

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“A salad?! Are you sure, is that _all_ you want to get?” Robbie nagged, entirely confused as to why someone would order just a salad from an italian takeout restaurant. Sportacus just nodded and smiled from his spot on the couch, foot tapping to the tune of the song that was playing quietly from the radio. He hoped he didn’t seem impatient in doing so as Robbie spoke to the employee over the phone, he just never could sit entirely still, it bored him endlessly, and as far as he was concerned, boredom was just as bad as death. After a few more minutes, Robbie hung up with a curt “Thank You.” and turned, jumping over the back of the dark sofa and piling himself in the seat next to Sportacus, feet tucked under himself.

“So, unsweetened iced tea and a salad. Are you on some kind of diet?” Robbie guessed. Sportacus just snorted, shaking his head.

“Not quite, my body is just incapable of properly consuming meats and processed sugar, though a lot of people seem to think it’s just part of one of those new dietary fads.” He explained. Robbie raised an eyebrow, growing mildly suspicious of him, if not for his anti-junk food diet, then for the possibility that this guy wasn’t entirely human. Not that he could speak, being half fae on his mother’s side, a secret he could never tell anyone. But it may also explain his weird feelings about him, a perfect explanation: he was just connecting with this guy because he too was magic. Definitely just that. He realized he had been silent for nearly half a minute and wracked his brain for a conversation topic.

“So, what’s got you moving here of all places?” Robbie questioned, hoping to get to know his guest a little better.

“Oh well, I just recently got a new job. I used to live a few towns away and worked on the local police force for nearly 20 years, but I had to quit for personal reasons.” Sportacus told him, not missing the intrigue plain on Robbie’s face at the mention of ‘personal reasons’.

“I had a daughter.” He claimed. Robbie nearly choked on nothing, an expression of surprise and also disappointment playing on his features. Of course, this guy was married.

“But the woman I was with, she left me and little Stephanie after a year. I had to ask for shorter work days and eventually they had to let me go since I wasn’t always able to work for Steph’s sake. I’ve been job hopping ever since, never quite able to land a decent, lasting job. But it seems that luck was kind enough to lead me to LazyTown. The high school was hiring for a new gym teacher and coach, I got both jobs.” He continued proudly. Robbie was almost relieved that he wasn’t with anyone, but was apprehensive at the mention of this kid he was so clearly fond of.

“Oh… I’m very glad to hear you got the jobs though! How old is your little… Stephanie was it?” asked, frankly just trying to get Sportacus to talk more about himself. His voice was so pretty and soothing. He decided to keep that little comment to himself.

“She’s eight!” He responded cheerfully, it was plain to see that he adored the young child.

“How about you Robbie?” He asked, leaning forward just a bit in anticipation. Robbie almost laughed, nobody ever wanted to hear about his dull life. He had a decent paying at home job as an inventor, no significant other to speak of, a cat, and a serious sweet tooth. Oh, and he hated kids and large groups of people.

“Well, uh… you already know I’m an at home inventor…. I have a cat? There’s honestly not much I can say. My life’s a bit boring…” and lonely, not that he was going to say that. Sportacus looked sad at the self depreciating comment. He was about to say something else, probably to encourage him to be more positive or something stupid like that, when the doorbell rang loudly.

Robbie stood up and walked to the door, and Sportacus just gawked at the fact that the delivery man wasn’t caught in the elaborate trap. Sportacus reached for his back pocket, pulling out his wallet, but Robbie leaned over and lowered his hand down.

“I’ve got it, don’t worry.” he insisted, not knowing why he was being so nice to this man who was a complete stranger to him earlier that morning. Robbie took the food and payed the delivery man, closing the door with a polite “Goodnight”, bringing the food to the small table in the living room, since he didn’t have a dining room. They ate in relatively comfortable silence, Robbie with a sandwich that could probably kill Sportacus with it’s sodium levels, and Sportacus with a delightful veggie salad that made Robbie’s stomach churn with its ‘healthiness’. Sportacus turned down Robbie’s offer of dessert, opting instead to just sit and talk for a while more before he’d have to go back to his apartment and unpack a bit more before bed.

“... Yeah, I have to go get Stephanie from my mother’s house tomorrow morning, I want to have everything set up before I introduce her to her new home. I’m even less ready to send her to a new school next week.” Sportacus chatted. Robbie nodded, noticing that Sportacus was getting a little tired. It was only 6:45. Suddenly, Robbie’s cat bolted through the apartment, leaping right into Robbie’s lap, unfortunately having her claws out to keep her from falling.

“AGH!? Lillie! Get off!” He yelped, groaning in pain and falling sideways on the couch, nearly smacking his head against Sportacus’ knee. The cat leisurely climbed onto one of the couch’s arm rests, curling up for a nap as Robbie tried to calm down from the sudden itching pain of new claw marks in his leg. When he lifted his hand, there was blood, but not much. Though there was now a small tear in one of his favorite pairs of pants. Stupid cat.

“Robbie! Are you alright?” Sportacus asked, worried about how bad he had been hurt.

“I’ll be ok, I’ve had worse. This damn cat always picks the worst times to do things like this.” He grumbled. Sportacus raised a stern eyebrow at the minor vulgar language, but he supposed that he couldn’t really judge the man in his own home.

“Ah, darn I must have ran out of Band Aids last week.” Robbie said, rummaging through the drawer in the bottom of the table. Sportacus perked up, pulling a small first aid kit from his back pocket and opening a Band Aid. He made sure Robbie wasn’t looking when he licked his finger and rubbed the saliva on the cotton pad of the bandage, imbuing it with some of his healing magic.

“Here, let me help.” Sportacus insisted, moving Robbie’s hand away from his wound, gently moving the bandage through the tear in his jeans and applying it to his upper thigh. They both blushed at the fact that Sportacus was touching his thigh, but Robbie let him, feeling instantly better the moment the Band Aid touched the cut. He was curious, but he left his questioning for later, choosing instead to be thankful. Sportacus noticed the time and hurriedly stood up.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, it’s already seven! I’ve got to go so I can get a few things done before bed.” Sportacus exclaimed. Robbie nodded and bid him goodbye as he left his apartment room. He felt a bit colder as he went, sad even, despite the fact that he lived in Apartment 109, just a few doors down. Oh god… He had a crush on his new neighbor. What the hell was he gonna do to get rid of this? Unless… he could get rid of him.


	2. Episode One: Contemplation of the Net

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie figures out how to make Sportacus fall for him.... sort of.

He didn’t take out the net. He completely forgot his promise to himself, and didn’t even remember until he heard the contraption go off and a loud yelp. Fuck.

“I’m coming, I’m coming, Jesus christ.” He grumbled, opening the door. His clothes were rumpled and his hair was a mess after pulling an all nighter trying to finish a project last minute for a long time customer. You could see the exhaustion and anger in the creases of his face and the smeared eyeliner that made him look like a vampire. In the net was of course his stupid neighbor. He had to get rid of the net.

“H-hey Robbie. Uhm….” Sportacus started, Robbie remembering suddenly that he still hadn’t released him. He reached for the lever, pulling it down and untying the side. Sportacus smiled and stepped out warily, not in as much of a panic as he was the first time. From behind the net, a small bundle of bright pink was giggling. Sportacus looked back at her and grinned, ushering her towards the door frame.

“I-is this Stephanie?” Robbie asked apprehensively, staring at the child who was looking up at him almost judgingly. Sportacus nodded, flashing his bright smile.

“Yes, It is! I wanted to bring her to meet you and check to see how you were doing.” Sportacus replied, resting his hands on Stephanie’s shoulders and noticing how tired Robbie looked.

“You don’t look like you slept very much last night though, or at all. What are you doing that’s got you so tired?” Sportacus asked, worriedly. Robbie shook his head and looked down at the ground, trying not to smile from the fact that someone was actually worried about him of all people.

“I must be quite the mess to be that obvious.” He stated, running a hand through his hair. It was clumpy and dry from the leftover hair gel, he must look terrible.

“If you must know, I was up all night finishing a complicated machine that needs to be done by noon today. Otherwise I wouldn’t be up this early. “ He laughed, leaning against the doorframe.

“You make machines? That’s so cool! What kind do you make?” Stephanie finally spoke up, unable to contain her energy or her newfound interest in Robbie’s work. Robbie grimaced at her loud childish voice, but didn’t want to sound rude in front of Sportacus.

“Oh, all kinds of contraptions kid! Anything from plastic molding heat guns, to candy makers, to traps! The one that I’m finishing now is made to knit things automatically.” He told her matter-of-factly. Her eyes were huge and she was eagerly bouncing on the balls of her feet. He found it hard to dislike the little pink brat when she acted so much like her dad. Robbie was surprised at his own thoughts. Sportacus spoke up, bringing Robbie’s attention back to the two people at his door.

“Well, I’ve got to get this one to her first day of school, and I’ve also gotta get to my first day!” he laughed, taking his daughter’s hand. Robbie nodded and smiled.

“You should get some rest, Robbie! I’ll see you later!” he chirped, beginning to walk away.

“Goodbye Mr. Robbie! Sleep well!” Stephanie called out from further down the hall. Robbie just laughed and shut the door.

“Mr. Perfect and that bubblegum girl have got to go. I can’t have my reputation ruined by a kid who acts like her stunningly handsome father!” he gumbled. He stopped for a second to process the words that had just come out of his own mouth.

“Wow, this is a problem. I’ve gotta deal with th-” he looked down at himself, “After I shower.”  
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Robbie was nice and clean but he had entirely forgotten to get more hair gel. He’d have to go out with his hair down, what would be the point in dressing up? He dug in the closet for a comfortable sweater and his worn old skinny jeans. He went in the bathroom to do his makeup and comb out his short wavy black hair. He had to admit that he didn’t look that bad, but he more than prefered having his hair slicked back in a more primed and pressed kind of look that made him seem professional (which he was). He turned so his side was facing the bathroom mirror, looking over his laid back outfit. His eyes caught onto how well defined his ass looked in the pants. Damn. He spent a few minutes admiring his own posterior before a thought crossed his mind.

“I wonder what Sportacus would think of me in these pants.” he thought aloud. He blushed, thinking about strutting past him in the tight jeans, giving him a smirk as he watched him walk down the hall, those beautiful blue eyes fixated on his butt. He shook the thought from his head quickly.

“God, I’m such a creep sometimes.”

 

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Robbie had entirely forgotten that the path he walked to get to the town’s shopping center went right past the high school. This in itself didn't even pose an issue until he walked past the fence surrounding the football field. There was a group of about thirty teenagers in gym attire lined up and finishing up stretches, being lead by a medium height man clad in blue sweatpants and a tight fitted grey workout shirt. Oh no. Sportacus spotted Robbie on the other side of the fence and waved, looking back to his students for a moment to say something before jogging to where Robbie was desperately trying to think of a way out of this conversation. The class grouped up and began heading up the stairs alongside the bleachers as Sportacus came to a stop.

“Hey Robbie! You look different!” Sportacus greeted cheerily. Robbie nearly groaned, but didn't want to seem _too_ impolite.

“Good morning again, Sportanerd. I was just going to the store, I ran out of hair gel.” He responded, running a hand limply through the short curly locks for emphasis. He shifted his feet, uncomfortable in front of his neighbor without his more formal attire and properly styled hair. Sportacus looked to be searching for a topic to keep their short conversation going, clearly having some time to kill after having dismissed the class to the locker rooms.

“Uhm, your makeup looks very nice!” Sportacus complimented. Robbie laughed a bit, relieving some of the awkward tension.

“Thank you, I just ordered new eyeshadows. Actually I should probably add foundation to my “grocery” list…”  
Robbie said, partially to himself as he tugged a pen and notepad from his back pocket, flipping open the page and clicking the pen open to scribble something down near the bottom of the page.

“I should probably get going, I need to change out of these.” Sportacus admitted, cutting the odd encounter short and gesturing down to his tight fitting clothes. Robbie lowered his pen as his eyes traveled down over the barely sweat soaked shirt clinging to his chiseled muscles. He could feel his face heating up and quickly shot his eyes back up to Sportacus’ face. He gave a small nervous grin, shoulders hunching high in embarrassment, but Sportacus didn't seem to notice and continued to smile.

“I hope you find everything you need at the store!” He finished. Robbie cleared his throat, tearing his eyes from the other’s million watt grin.

“Yes, yes. See you later!” Robbie affirmed, turning to walk away in the direction of the shopping center once again. He almost didn't notice the way those piercing blue eyes fixated on his backside as he strutted off.

 

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He had all the tools out and ready and a perfect plan to reuse it, but he was still hesitant. Did he really need to take out the door net? Sure it lead to awkward and annoying situations, but it was so reliable it did its job and kept children away from his door! But he could also repurpose it as a temporary trap to scare Sportacus out of the building. He threw the screwdriver down on the floor for a third time and grumbled loudly, rubbing his temples.

“You know what, I should just do it. Before I have another chance to talk myself out of this stupid idea.” he grouched at himself. He got up, grabbing the phillips head once again, setting to work unscrewing the outer frame holding the contraption to the doorframe.

 

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It took him three days to completely disassemble the net. He almost cried, pulling all that hard work away from the wall it had been attached to for years. He dangled the trigger from its wiring, admiring his handiwork from nearly nine years earlier. He huffed and placed it back on the table, ready to begin working on a drop down net for Sportacus to fall into. He came to the conclusion that he would indeed have to use some magic to make sure Sportacus would be the only one able to activate the trap. He wouldn't want the landlord or any of the more talkative tenants falling in or tattling on his deeds. He imagined the scenario of Sportacus falling into the net, and Robbie pulling him up out of it, Sportacus hugging him tightly and thanking him, possibly even rewarding him with a ki-

No! This was only a plan to make him want to move out of the building! He doesn't have a chance with him. He wish he did. He shook his head at the self depreciating thoughts and got to work. He’d have to dig a pit out in the common area behind the building. It sure looked like one hell of a long night.

 

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“It’s been nearly a week! How has he _not_ fallen in yet?!” Robbie complained. He tapped his pencil against his temple furiously, going over the problem again and again in his mind. Sportacus had been outside several hours each day as he always seemed to do, and had stepped on all the right spots, the whole two foot radius that worked as a trigger, but somehow he never fell through down into the net! Robbie had checked to see if the triggers were functioning properly- they were, had checked if they were still magicked, or if the hinges on the trap’s disguised cover were stiff, but everything was in working order!

He looked out his window just in time to see the muscular man run right over the spot, kicking a soccer ball across to his brightly dressed daughter. He grimaced for a moment before his face light up in realization: He wasn't standing on it long enough! All he had to do was find some way to get Sportaloonie to stand on the trap a few seconds longer and the ground would give out underneath him and drop him helplessly into the net! He looked around for an ideal distraction, eyes hovering over the freshly cleaned and folded jeans sitting on top of his laundry basket. He rubbed his hands together menacingly.

 

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“I’m gonna go inside and grab a couple of waters, ok dad?” Stephanie asked, breathing a bit hard after a rather long game of soccer. Sportacus nodded at her, stretching as he watched his kid run off into the main building. He hardly noticed Robbie, until he saw the distressed look on his face.

“Oh, Sportacus! Just the person I was looking for! I need a little help.” Robbie called to him innocently enough. Sportacus perked up, beginning to lightly jog in his direction.

“Of course Robbie, what’s the matter?” he questioned. Almost there.

“I seem to have misplaced my phone, it must have fallen out of my pocket…” Robbie said, back to the other man. He peeked back to see where Sportacus was standing. Just the spot. He bent down, pretending to search the grass.  
Sportacus watched as he bent down and- oh god he was wearing those skinny jeans again. He blushed furiously and turned his head away, idly scanning the grass and trying to control the heat in his cheeks. Suddenly, he couldn't feel solid ground under him any longer. His stomach lurched as he plummeted a few feet, stopping when he collided with a stretchy system of elastic ropes, caught in a large net, but the ground seemed to be maybe five feet above his head. Luckily nothing hurt, but he couldn't get the footing to pull himself out of the hole. Robbie turned back, trying not to smirk. He tucked his previously “lost” phone into his pocket and strutted over to the hole.

“Robbie! Please help me!” Sportacus called. There was a mechanical whirring and- uh oh. Robbie hadn’t accounted on the hatch closing up after the trap went off. Robbie gasped and ran towards the panel, not even halfway back in place. He slammed the heel of his foot down onto it, snapping the sturdy wood and weakening the hinge to the best of his ability. The heel of his boot was caught in the wood under the stick on grass but he didn't care as fear made him act impulsively, grasping Sportacus’ arm and hoisting him up. He wasn't strong by any means but with the added strength that came with adrenaline, he managed to pull the other out, unscathed.

Robbie looked sheepishly from Sportacus to his ruined trap. He’d have to fill that in. He blushed and released his grip on Sportacus, attempting to turn his attention to the back of his right foot which was still jammed into the wood. Sportacus just knelt down and grabbed his leg with a strength that for some reason shocked Robbie. In a matter of moments he was free, turning to face the shorter man who was dusting dirt and grass from his clothing.

“T-thank you, Sportacus.” He stammered shakily. Sportacus looked nearly shocked for a moment.

“No no, Robbie I should be thanking you! If it weren't for you, that thing would have closed on me. What is it anyway?” He asked, concerned. It was more than obvious that Robbie had built it, he couldn't hide that.

“It's a- uh. It’s a gopher trap. Really convoluted and, I’m beginning to realize, dangerous, I know. I’ll have to fill it in.” Robbie lied, Sportacus didn't doubt him though. He nodded in agreement.

“I’ll help you with that, we should probably get that done soon so nobody else gets hurt. Robbie was astonished at how far this guy would go just to be a nice person. He wasn't going to say no to a helping hand though. He started off towards the shed to grab some shovels, mentally damning his failed attempt. He returned to find Sportacus beaming and talking with Stephanie as if nothing had happened. Robbie handed Sportacus a shovel and Stephanie gave him a look.

“What's that for?” She asked, mostly towards Robbie. Sportacus answered though.

“I’m going to help Robbie fill in the gopher trap. That way nobody else can get hurt!” He answered. Robbie shook his head and went to the dirt pile he had so skillfully moved to hide behind the dumpsters. Four hours later and they had completely patched it up, Robbie was so tired he felt liked he could pass out in the middle of the grass and never wake up. Sportacus wiped the sweat from his forehead and tugged down the edge of his dirty, sweat soaked shirt. His face was hot and his hair stuck to his forehead, he looked so disheveled it made Robbie blush. They we're both due for a bath. He barely caught it when Sportacus lifted his baseball hat and shook his head, effectively cooling down a bit before snuggly fitting the cap back down. Robbie's pupils blew wide, had his ears been pointed? Robbie laid down, smacking the back of his head down into the soft grass and mulling over everything that had taken place. At least he had gotten rid of the door net.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's probably a lot of typos in this i wrote half of this on my phone. also, it's funny because i'm not writing smut in this like at all. Sportacus just appreciates the view is all.


	3. Episode Two: Try This!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie gets Sportacus to try new things, but it doesn't go as planned.  
> Sportacus gets Robbie to try new things, and it goes better than planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit of a short chapter!

Sportacus had begun to notice Robbie’s shoddy diet. He’d sometimes see Robbie walking into his apartment, carrying several grocery bags filled with salty and sugary snack foods, cake mix, soda, any kind of junk food he could get his hands on. Sportacus was also convinced that there were probably times the man didn’t even eat, considering how skinny and exhausted he always was. He was thinking over this one night while cooking dinner for Stephanie and himself, a delicious vegetable pasta he had been making for Stephanie ever since she was only three years old, it was her favorite dish.

“Dad, what are you thinking so hard about?” Stephanie asked from behind him. He jumped a bit, having not known that she was in the kitchen with him.

“Oh, hello Stephanie! It was nothing.” He quickly covered. Stephanie looked unconvinced.

“Your mustache was twitching and you were tapping your chin, you only do that when you’re concentrating really hard.” She informed him. Sportacus laughed nervously, she could read his body language better than anyone else. He lifted the lid of the simmering pot and stirred it a bit, trying to avoid talking to her about Robbie, the man was on his mind a lot nowadays. If he was being honest with himself, she had probably figured that out already, too.

“Mr. Rotten needs to eat better food, doesn’t he?” Stephanie piped up, reading her dad’s thoughts. She gave a small smile when her dad sighed and shook his head.

“Alright, you caught me.” Sportacus conceded. Stephanie giggled, making Sportacus smile.

“But really, he does need to eat something besides junk food, that can’t possibly be good for him. I’m not about telling people how to live their lives, but I’m afraid his life is going to be a short one if he keeps up those kinds of habits. I especially don’t understand how he can be so thin with all those chips and sweets.” Sportacus cringed inwardly at the thought. He couldn’t eat processed sugar himself and the thought of the state that junk foods put him in made his stomach twist a little. He shook his head and continued stirring the vegetables in the pot, the smell of a healthy dinner settling his stomach. He turned off the heat and tapped the wooden spoon on the edge of the pot, shaking all the extra sauce back into the pasta.

“Looks like dinner’s done!” He smiled, stopping the previous conversation short. Stephanie excitedly ran back to her seat at the table as Sportacus scooped food into two bowls and carried them to the table. He poured them each glasses of fruit juice before sitting down next to his daughter and digging in.

“Mmm, this is delicious, Papa!” Stephanie complemented between bites. Sportacus chuckled and ruffled her hair, earning a playful grumble.

“Thank you Stephanie, though I must say, you’re a far better chef than I am. The soup and salad you made yesterday was incredible.” He replied with a wink. Stephanie giggled and went back to eating her pasta. 

\-----------

They had finished dinner but there was still half a pot of pasta left when he was washing off their dishes. He tapped his chin for a moment and went to the cupboard to grab a large tupperware box. He pulled out a clear plastic container shaped like a cup and it’s lid and filled it up with pasta. He toed on his shoes and threw on a beanie, covering up his ears and hair. 

“Stephanie, will you be alright here alone for a few minutes? I just need to step out for a moment.” He called out. 

“Yeah dad!” came the young girl’s voice from the living room. He nodded to himself and unlocked the door, stepping out into the hallway and walking up to room 109. He knocked on the door, thankful that he wasn’t swooped up into a giant net this time. The door opened to a very casual looking Robbie.

“O-oh, hi Sportacus.” He greeted, suddenly regretting his appearance. Baggy sweatpants, an oversized shirt that plainly said “NOPE”, and his fluffy unstyled hair. Sportacus smiled warmly, not minding how he looked in the least. And he was wearing the shade of eyeshadow that Sportacus had complimented him on the other day, it looked even better when he wasn’t so done up.

“I brought you some pasta, there was a lot left over from dinner and I thought maybe you'd enjoy a warm home cooked meal. I know I probably should have just invited you over if anything, but I didn't think about that earlier.” Sportacus offered up the tube of pasta. Robbie took it and scanned over it’s contents. Noodles, alfredo sauce, tomatoes, mushrooms, spinach…? It was absolutely loaded with vegetables. Disgusting. Robbie smiled anyway at the gesture.

“Uh, thank you! Would you like to come in?” Robbie asked. He suddenly had a devious plan. If he could get Sportacus to eat a little sugar, maybe he would get just sick enough that he'd stop bothering him with "healthy things" at least for a while. Certainly it couldn’t do him much harm. Sportacus walked inside graciously, followed by Robbie who sat down on the couch. Sportacus joined him hesitantly, the television paused on some show on Netflix. There was a nearly empty bowl of popcorn and a bottle of soda on the table in front of them. Sportacus eyed them warily.

“I tried a recipe for sugar-free cookies earlier today… would you like to try one?” Robbie asked, sounding as innocently as he could. Sportacus didn’t see anything wrong with the statement “sugar free” coming from Robbie and agreed.

“Sure!” Robbie stood up and went to the kitchen. He reached on top of the fridge to a bag of snickerdoodles he had made several days ago, checking to make sure Sportaloser couldn’t see him before casting a small charm on it to lessen the sweetness. The spell lit up the room in a small burst of bright purple magic, the sparkly tendrils of it seeping into the confectionary. He brought it back out and handed it to Sportacus, who almost immediately took a bite out of it. Robbie was only smirking for a few moments, before Sportacus suddenly keeled over sideways, passing out on his couch, the cookie falling to the floor and scattering crumbs everywhere. Robbie began to panic, had he just accidentally killed his crush?! Oh god. He quickly ran to the other side of the couch to check his pulse and breathing.

Alright, so he’s alive, but unconscious. What was he going to do now? He paced for a few moments before running off to his room, then to the kitchen, coming back with a blanket, a warm damp cloth, and a glass of water. He threw the blanket over him, put the cloth on his forehead, and tried to figure out how on earth he was going to get an unconscious man to drink water. Sportacus, surprisingly, groaned and shifted at the damp feeling on his face. Robbie peeled it off, if he didn’t like it, it probably wasn’t going to help much. It was then that Robbie noticed something faintly glowing red in his pocket. Was it his phone? He couldn’t just pull this guy’s phone out of his pocket just because he was unconscious. He sat down next to the other with a huff, thinking he might have to rush him to the hospital. He was about to get up to throw on some shoes and get his keys when Sportacus stirred.

“R-Robbie…” his voice sounded weak and raspy, but at least he was awake.

“Sportasnooze, thank god, you gave me a heart attack!” Robbie gasped.

“Robbie, I need you to get me an apple, or something please.” Sportacus said. Robbie was a bit confused, but nodded nonetheless, running off to rifle through his fridge. He grimaced as he realized there wasn’t a single piece of fruit in his kitchen. Maybe Sportacus had some in his apartment. He rushed out the door to his own apartment and over to room 109, bursting through the door urgently.

“Hey Da- Mr. Rotten?” Stephanie’s voice came from behind him as he ran to the fridge.

“Sorry Pinky, your dad passed out and asked for fruit.” Robbie explained quickly, plucking an apple from the fruit drawer, and slamming the fridge, running back to his own apartment, leaving behind a concerned Stephanie.

“Here, I got one from your place, I hope that’s ok.” Robbie told him, sitting down and holding the red fruit up to his lips. Sportacus took a bite and swallowed, able to move around after only a few moments. He grabbed the apple out of Robbie's hand and tried to sit up, but wasn’t quite strong enough just yet. His head fell back down, landing right in Robbie’s lap. Sportacus didn’t seem to notice, taking another bite of apple. Robbie’s cheeks flushed dramatically, he held his hand up halfway, not knowing where to put them or what to with them in this situation. 

As soon as it had happened, it was over. Sportacus was sitting up, taking gulps of water and Robbie was still sitting there, blushing and awkward. Sportacus looked at him, concerned.

“Uh… I uh- Sorry. I think I must have given you a cookie from the wrong batch.” Robbie apologized, lying through his teeth. Sportacus bought it and nodded in understanding.

“Thank you for helping me Robbie, though I should probably be getting back, I need to get Steph to bed.” Sportacus apologized. The two men got up, Robbie showing him out the door and shutting it behind him. He leaned against the door with a sigh.

“I’m never doing that again. I think my heart nearly gave out on me.” He mumbled to himself. He walked back to the couch, eyeing the pasta. Against his better judgement, he went into the kitchen and grabbed a fork. He plopped down on the seat that Sportacus had been in, reveling in the warmness and popping the lid off. He got a whiff of the food, it surprisingly smelled delightful. Robbie scooped a hesitant forkful and ate it, chewing slowly. It was... actually not that bad. He ate a little more, and a little more, until the cup was nearly gone. He was rather disappointed when he had cleaned out the last of the dish, not that he’d ever tell anyone. He'd return the container sometime that week, he though before laying down on the couch and drifting off into a peaceful sleep.


	4. Episode Three: A Piece of You For a Piece of Me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sportacus tells Robbie something personal, and Robbie returns the favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not yet updating the tags about this so there's no spoilers!!! i dropped a bit of an informational bomb at the end of this chapter and I really hope y'all like it!

Finally! Everything was set up perfectly, every time that goody goody health freak turned his back, his machine would pelt him with pebbles! What could go wrong?

Robbie pondered this as he (unwillingly) helped Sportacus tape down the tablecloth to one of the picnic tables in the courtyard. It was that snobby brat from the third floor’s birthday, and somehow he had gotten so lost in those disgustingly beautiful blue eyes that he had ended up agreeing to help Sportacus set up for his party. It was Stephanie’s idea, to throw him a surprise party. Stinky… Sticky? Whatever the money loving child’s name was, was out shopping with his mother so that the kids would have time to set up. Everyone else was inside dealing with presents and food, leaving the two adults to decorate.

“No no, why would you put those streamers there? It clashes with the banner you put up. Here, let me.” Robbie chided, taking the tape and the streamers from Sportacus with a huff. Sportacus didn’t notice how Robbie froze for a fraction of a second as their hands brushed, and Robbie just shook it off, moving to put up the streamers around the table and in the trees nearest to the bench. It was five minutes later that they had successfully put the piñata, and Robbie breathed out a sigh, leaning up against the table. Sportacus leaned beside him, giving him one of those smiles that Robbie swore could put the sun out of a job. 

“Thank you for helping me, Robbie. The kids will really appreciate it.” He said, laying a hand gently on Robbie’s shoulder. Robbie blushed a little and subconsciously leaned into the contact, surprising himself a little. He didn’t move away though, it was really comforting, until he felt something small and hard smack his shoulder. And another, and a few more. Sportacus winced a few times too, what was hitting them? Robbie turned his head to see the turret-like machine swiveling between the two and shooting out small stones. They were really starting to hurt. Robbie drew the line as one nearly smacked Sportacus in the eye, scratching along his nose with a surprised yelp. Robbie grabbed his shoulder and turned him towards the machine, once they were both facing it, it stopped firing.

“Sorry, that was meant for tennis balls, somebody must have lodged it with pebbles.” Robbie only half lied as he ran over to deactivate the machine. It was true, it had at one point been made to shoot tennis balls, before he had modified it and loaded it up with pebbles. As he trudged back over to Sportacus, he noticed the scratch on his nose was bleeding. It wasn’t that bad of a cut, but enough to make Robbie gasp at the sight of blood, and the fact that he had caused that certainly didn’t help. 

“Ah, Sportacus. The gash on your nose is bleeding… here, come with me I’ll get it cleaned up for you.” Sportacus didn’t protest as Robbie lead him to his apartment and got out a cloth and his first aid kit. His ran the cloth under the tap for a few moments and dabbed at the wound with it, effectively clearing it of blood, and rubbed in the disinfectant. Sportacus just smiled at him the whole time.

“What’s that look for?” Robbie grumbled without any real edge. Sportacus giggled.

“You’re very kind to me, Robbie.” Sportacus admitted. Robbie sputtered for a moment.

“I am not kind, I’m horrible. How dare you say nice things about me.” Robbie responded with a grin. Sportacus just laughed. 

“Enough about me, let’s talk about you instead.” Robbie offered, opening a bandage and gently sticking it to Sportacus’ nose. 

“That’s not uncomfortable, is it?” Sportacus shook his head.

“What do you want to know?” Sportacus asked, happy to tell Robbie about whatever he wanted to know. He found the man very easy to talk to.

“Uhm… What about your time on the police force? Anything interesting happen then?” Robbie asked hesitantly. Sportacus grinned.

“There were plenty of things that happened that you could call interesting, but I’ll just tell you a few of my favorites.” Sportacus began, earning an intrigued nod from Robbie.

“... So this guy had her at gunpoint with a cartful of snack foods next to him, no intention of robbing her of cash or valuables, and when we finally got him away from the clerk, we discovered it was only a replica gun from a prop shop in Vegas. The clerk was crying from laughing and fear when her wife came to pick her up from the scene.” Sportacus finished, laughing at the ridiculous scenario. Robbie snorted. 

“I probably would be too. Man all this talk of violence and yet you haven’t said a thing about having hurt somebody. Did you just never do anything violent somehow in 20 years of being a police officer?” Robbie observed rather nonchalantly. Sportacus laughed, albeit nervously. 

“Well, violence was a given. I tried to be as peaceful as possible, but there are always situations that call for it. Everybody has to do things they’re uncomfortable with for their jobs. Luckily I only ever had to use my gun a handful of times.” Sportacus admitted.

“Wait, you’ve killed people?!” Robbie sat up straight in disbelief. Sportacus stared at his feet sullenly.

“I only had to use it lethally once.” 

“Sport, you don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to. That’s probably… really rough to think about.” Robbie comforted, shifting closer to Sportacus and resting a hand on his back. Sportacus gave him a half-hearted smile.

“Thanks, Robbie.” Sportacus said, leaning towards him sullenly. Robbie wrapped his arms around Sportacus, hugging him fondly before his brain could tell him to stop. Sportacus appreciated the gesture and hugged Robbie back, squeezing him gently. Robbie grinned, cheeks flaring with heat, but he couldn’t find a reason to care as he felt the warmth and the strong embrace of the other man. He had to focus hard on making sure his wings stayed still under his shirt, or else Sportacus would be able to see right through the glamour that made his back and clothing appear normal and flat. He was both relieved and saddend when Sportacus pulled away, hearing the kids rushing outside.

“Oh no, I forgot about the party! Stingy is going to be here any second!” Sportacus exclaimed, standing up so quickly it gave Robbie headrush just watching him. They both ran outside to join the kids, mere moments before Stingy walked up, all the kids jumping up from behind the table to shout “SURPRISE!”

\---------------

The party went by in a blur for Robbie, and soon enough they were cleaning up, the sun beginning to dip below the horizon. All of the kids had gone inside, leaving only Robbie and Sportacus to take down the streamers and the banner. 

“Hey, uh…. Sportadork?” Robbie started nervously.

“What’s up Robbie?” Sportacus asked, concerned. 

“I uhm… You told me something very personal earlier. I felt like I was almost intruding on you by edging you to talk about it.”

“Oh Robbie, it’s ok. You’re my friend anyway, I don’t mind talking to you about personal things.” Robbie pretended that he didn’t hear Sportacus hesitate on the word friend.

“Yeah… well, that’s why I figured it’s only fair if I tell you something back.” Robbie responded. Sportacus frowned in contemplation.

“You really don’t have t-”

“I want to.” Robbie said, taking a shaky breath. He huffed and pulled out his phone, switching into the photo app and pulling up a picture.

“Sportacus… I don’t know how you’ll take this exactly, but I figured it’s something you should know, seeing as we’re …. friends now.” Robbie smiled at the thought of how he and Sportacus were becoming closer.

“I-I’m… trans.” Robbie said, passing his phone to Sportacus to show him pictures of his surgery scars. Sportacus was silent for a moment and Robbie’s heart sped up. What was Sportacus going to say to him? Was he going to call him disgusting? Was he going to get up and walk out of his life forever? God, he sure hoped not.

“Robbie, I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me this. You know, you’re still the same Robbie to me, right?” He smiled. Robbie felt wetness on his face as tears streamed down, tears he hadn’t even realized were forming. He heaved out a sob, grinning from ear to ear as he launched himself at Sportacus. Sportacus found it surprisingly easy to lift Robbie from the hug into holding him. He almost wanted to kiss Robbie… wait… no he couldn’t do that. Robbie was his friend! What if he didn’t feel the same? That would just ruin everything. Sportacus settled instead for wiping the mascara stained tears from Robbie’s face, and setting him gently back on his feet.

“Thank you, Sportacus.” Robbie said, staring at him with a glimmer in his eyes that could easily be passed off as an after effect of the tears. 

“For what?” Sportacus replied softly.

“For being so kind to me.” Robbie smiled. Sportacus smiled back and rubbed his shoulder reassuringly. He felt a small fluttering movement, but shrugged it off as his imagination playing tricks on him. The pair turned to gather all the party decorations and walked back inside together.


End file.
